Have you ever heard people say, “Life is not easy” or “Life was meant to be hard.” Is that really true?
Think back to when you were a child — was life difficult back then? If it wasn’t, then what has changed over the years which may be influencing your perspective on whether life is meant to be difficult or easy?
My belief is that life is actually quite simple. We tend to complicate life based on our experiences, the environments we are exposed to and the beliefs we form.
While having a belief that life is difficult may not necessarily be false, the question we always should ask ourselves is, “Are my beliefs about life giving me the results I want?”
The results we get in life are often a reflection of our beliefs. If we are not getting the results we want, then that’s an indication we are doing things that’s making life difficult for us.
The good news is we can always do things differently so we can start getting the results we want. And the starting point is becoming aware of how we may be making life difficult in the first place.
Here are ten ways or things we may be doing to make life difficult right now that are giving us the results we are currently getting.
- Not willing to face the truth faster. The old saying, “The truth will set you free” is still true. Facing the truth, whether it is speaking the truth or acknowledging something is not woking, can be difficult or even painful. When we do build the courage to face the truth, the long term benefits will almost always outweigh the short term pain. Telling the truth faster is a powerful principle to live our lives by.
- Always looking to external sources for solutions. In its truest form, personal coaching is process which enables someone to tap into resources within, to solve a challenge or come up with a new solution. That is why coaching is such a powerful tool for personal growth and transformation as it almost forces us to come up with answers ourselves.
Where we tend to get ourselves into trouble is forming the habit of asking others what they think we should do. This does not help us develop the confidence or ability to make decisions which can lead to self-doubt and a lack of self-trust. We all have the power to solve any problem we experience.
- Feeling guilty for making choices that will only benefit you. Oftentimes, we tend to hesitate or delay making decisions for fear of upsetting or hurting other people. While there are times when that’s necessary, it should not be the reason for not making choices that support our visions and goals. We will always be able to serve others better when we make our needs just as important as other people’s needs.
- Allowing toxic people to influence your opinions or behaviours. Not everyone we associate with is a positive influence in our lives. Our environments have a huge impact on our attitude and behaviours, and the more we associate with negative or toxic people, the more we will behave like them. We must be conscious of who we are spending time with and what impact they are having on us.
- Trying to compete with others to prove your worth. This is a common pattern with achievers as they are always seeking more achievement. In one aspect, it can be a positive thing because we should always challenge ourselves to grow and evolve, but on the other hand, it can lead to lack of fulfilment and joy because what we have is never enough. This is why have a clear motivation for why we are doing what we do in life is so important.
- Failing to see opportunities that are around you all the time. We do live in an abundant world and the more we can operate from that belief, the more opportunities we will attract. Where we tend get into trouble is when we start believing that there is only so much to go around or we’ve missed our opportunity in life. There will always be other opportunities if we’re aware of them.
- Not creating options in life. A typical example is having one source of income, typically via a job. In the world we live in today, where things are changing so rapidly, it’s not the best long-term strategy. If we still think there is such a thing as job security, then we’re not giving ourselves the opportunity to explore other options. Income is just one example. There are other things we may be doing that could be limiting the choices we have in life.
- Always thinking about what could go wrong if you take a risk. Some people like to be the “devil’s advocate” and constantly focus on all the things that could go wrong. That typically creates fear which often leads to procrastination or inaction. The truth is if we’re not prepared to take risks, we will never know what is possible for us. The more risks we are willing to take, the higher the probability we will create new results.
- Putting so much energy into protecting what you own. It’s a funny thing but we believe that we really “own” the things the things we have in life. Let’s face it — at the time of our death, whatever we own will belong to someone else. At best, we’re temporary custodians of our possessions or things. Rather than fear losing what we have, we should instead focus on being generous and giving more of what we do have. That supports the belief that there is plenty to go around and we don’t have to worry about getting our fair share.
- Expecting to be happy all the time. It is false idea that we will be happy every waking moment. There will be times when the things we do will be mundane, boring and a grind. What is more important is having a clear motivation for why we are doing those mundane, boring things. How will do those things serve us in the future? Happiness really comes from appreciating the present moment and having a sense that we are making progress in life.
It is up to us whether we want our lives to be difficult or simple. It all starts with what is going on inside us. If we can recognise some of the triggers that may be causing us to make life difficult, we’ll be in a much better position to take corrective actions.
Question: How else do you think we make life difficult for ourselves?
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