Our level of confidence has a huge impact on what we’re willing or not willing to do. The more confidence we have, the more willing we are to challenge ourselves to try new things.
Unfortunately, confidence is one of those things that can be eroded very easily if we’re not aware of the things that can affect it. If we’re able to identify what some of the things that affect our confidence are, we can put tools or strategies in place to deal with them when they do come up.
Our confidence level is something we must protect all the time.
The more aware we are of the things that can affect our confidence, the better positioned we’ll be to overcome them so that we can focus on doing the things that are important to us.
Here are ten things we must stop doing now because these things can erode our confidence and take us off track from achieving our goals.
- Stop pretending everything is fine when they’re not. Whenever we avoid taking full ownership for the things that are not going well in our lives, it causes unnecessary stress and internal turmoil. Usually when we start saying “we’re fine” when we are asked how we are doing, that’s usually a sign that there are things we need to address. The language we use consistently is often a good indicator for what is really going on for us.
- Stop trying to avoid dealing with an issue that is affecting you. Addressing an issue head-on is often uncomfortable and can bring up fear or resistance. The downside of not addressing an issue is it will linger on and continue to use up our energy, which in turn, shifts our focus away from the things that are important to us.
One of my mentors often says, “Tell the truth faster.” While it can be challenging, the reward is often well worth the risk.
- Stop spending time with people who thrive on negativity. We must avoid the captivity of negativity because it is all around us. Some people get a lot of pleasure from focusing on things that they perceive to be wrong and will often try and draw us into their conversations.
This is why we must be very careful as to who we choose to spend time with. It is so much better to spend time with people who inspire us and challenge us to shine our greatness in the world.
- Stop trying to be someone else so that you can please others. Whenever we shift away from our true, authentic self, we move out of a state of flow. That’s when things tend to be a struggle. There is a quote which says, “Be yourself; everyone else is taken.”
While it is our responsibility to be considerate of others, we certainly are not responsible for trying to please others. No matter how hard we try, some people will never be satisfied.
- Stop doubting your ability to do something that is really important to you. It has been said, “If we can dream it, we can do it.” We wouldn’t be given a dream if we didn’t have the ability to do it. There will be some things we will have to learn and attempt for the first time, but those things are all part of the process of making our dreams come true.
- Stop beating yourself up for mistakes you have made in the past. Let’s face it — we have all made mistakes, some of us have made more costly mistakes than others. While those mistakes could have been really painful and hurt our identity, we must learn to forgive ourselves and learn from our mistakes. Our mistakes are what makes us stronger so that we can deal with the new challenges we may face.
- Stop lying to yourself. The worst lies are the ones we tell ourselves such as we’re not good enough, we’re not ready, we’ll never be as good as others, etc. When we lie to ourselves, although we think no one else is affected, the truth is we’re eating away at our confidence and self-esteem.
To overcome this, we must silence our inner critic and challenge ourselves to do the things we have been avoiding.
- Stop saying you’ll get to it someday or do it one day. It has been said that cemeteries are the resting place for people’s unfulfilled dreams and goals. Unfortunately “someday” or “one day” is not a day in the week. In order to get something done, we must be willing to plan for it and schedule it as a priority otherwise we won’t do it.
- Stop being ungrateful. If you’re reading this now, you’re probably better off than over 80% of the population of the world. Why? It’s because you have access to technology, you’ve got a home, you have food to eat daily, clothes to wear, etc. No matter how difficult we think things are for us, there is always something to be grateful for.
- Stop doing the same things and hoping things will be different or get better. Whenever we tend to feel stuck, what is really happening is we’re creating the same reality over and over again. And chances are we’re probably doing the same things we’ve been doing and hoping something different will emerge. New results require new actions.
Confidence is developed by successfully surviving risks. Some of the things listed above could be considered as being risky however, unless we’re willing to challenge ourselves to stop doing some of those things, we will slowly destroy our confidence.
If we take the steps and stop doing these things, not only will we feel better about ourselves, we will also set a positive example for others to do the same for themselves. Boosting our confidence is one of the most important things we can do as part of our ongoing development.
Question: What is another thing we must stop doing in order to boost our confidence quickly?
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