Through our daily interactions, we convey to others the amount of self-confidence we have. We do this through our words, body language, behaviours and actions.
We tend to be attracted more to those who display a high level of confidence than those who are lacking confidence. This is even more important in professional situations because those who display a strong level of self-confidence:
- Are more likely to be given new opportunities first, such as job promotions.
- Have a greater chance of succeeding in new ventures or projects.
- Will be able to find solutions to problems quicker.
- Are more willing to take risks to achieve what matters most to them.
- Will attract the right people or resources to help them get to where they want to be.
Who we are and how we show up everyday lets people know the level of confidence we have in our ability to get things done.
Confidence is something that must be constantly developed. It’s very rare for someone to achieve great results without consistently challenging themselves to greater levels of performance and confidence.
One of the challenges we have daily is to maintain a healthy attitude and avoid getting caught up in negativity.
The reason why it’s a daily challenge is because negativity is not hard to find. We don’t have to look for it because it’s always close by via different media such as television, radio or social networks, also via daily conversations with people.
It’s not hard to recognise patterns people we associate with regularly have. Some people get their charge or feel significant by being negative and most times, they may not even realise their own behaviours. Without any provocation, people will blame or complain about:
- Other people including co-workers, significant other or family members.
- The weather.
- The traffic.
- The government.
- How expensive things are.
And the list goes on and on.
If we’re not cautious about what we give our focus and attention to, we can easily get drawn into negativity, which will affect our attitude and energy levels. We must be willing to say “no” to negativity in order to be at our best consistently and be true to who we are.
Even though we all have different definitions of success, one thing certain is that if we want more success, we must be willing to be uncomfortable.
It’s very rare to attain greater levels of success without challenging ourselves in new ways, which often will cause us to be uncomfortable.
Anyone who has achieved noteworthy success will admit that the success we are seeking is often outside our comfort zone or outside of things we are familiar with.
To achieve new levels of success will require us to take new actions, which often means doing things we have not done before. One of the best things about life is we are always receiving feedback via our results.
If we are not getting the results we want, that’s feedback that we have to do different things to eventually get the results we want.
If we are always comfortable, it means:
- We are not growing and evolving.
- We are not challenging ourselves.
- We may miss opportunities to learn from new experiences or even from our failures.
- We may become stagnant and play life at a level we are used to.
- We may not have the confidence to do what’s necessary to create the results we want.
Intentionally putting ourselves in uncomfortable situations will develop our mental muscles to deal with whatever comes our way.
Imagine this scenario… you get up in the morning knowing you have so much to get done that day.
The first thing you do is turn on your computer and check your messages and emails. You start responding to messages and emails. Then you check your phone for new notifications and start responding to them. Before you know it, 90 minutes have gone by!
Now, you are feeling really annoyed with yourself and flustered because you’ve lost a good part of your morning and you still haven’t started on the work you were supposed to do. For the next few hours, you’re in reactive mode, trying to make up time you lost in the morning, hoping you can still get everything done that day.
Does that sound familiar? Does that happen to you more often than you’d like to admit?
I think we’ve all been there. We may have had the intention to be productive and get a lot of things done but for whatever reasons, our day just got away from us.
To avoid such situations, we have to be intentional with how we start each day and condition ourselves to be at our best consistently.
We’ve all been through challenging periods in our lives where our problems appeared insurmountable and scary.
Not matter what we tried, things just got worse and worse, and it would have been so easy to say, “This is too much!” and give up.
As a result of what we were going through, we may have experienced:
- A physical, emotional and mental break down.
- High levels of stress and pain.
- Loss of sleep at night.
- Reduced levels of concentration.
- Conflict in our personal and professional relationships.
Can you remember such a time in your life?
While problems are a part of life, if we don’t address them quickly or if we ignore them, we will make things worse for ourselves.
It’s not uncommon for us to feel powerless at times, as we go through life. We have many things that affect our ability to be powerful, so it’s important we find ways to avoid feeling powerless.
One thing that should be clarified is being powerful does not mean we are dominant over others or try to get our own way all the time. It also doesn’t mean we hide aspects of ourselves we don’t like so that we come across as more powerful that we really are to others.
Avoiding feeling powerless means we are willing to show our true self to others without the fear of ridicule or rejection. Feeling powerful very rarely comes from material possessions or success.
In fact, how powerful we feel does not come from anything external or “outside” of ourselves. It totally comes from “within.” If we don’t feel powerful on the inside, then it’ll be very difficult to display it externally.
The less we feel powerless, the less we’ll struggle with self-confidence or self-esteem issues.
The quality of our lives is largely influenced by the events or experiences we’ve had and the lessons we’ve learned along the way.
The older we get, the more experiences we will have, which should also equate to more life wisdom. Well, that’s what it should be.
I’ve met many people who should be wiser as a result of their life experiences, but they keep repeating the same types of behaviours and keep getting the same types of results.
Some of the common behaviours or patterns I see people repeating include:
- Making the same mistakes when they get into new relationships.
- Not being responsible with their finances.
- Putting their careers ahead of their health or personal relationships.
- Pushing themselves too far with their work.
Our time on Earth is limited and even though we’re all on different journeys in life, there are certain things we should never learn late in life.
One of our greatest quests in life is to find what makes us happy and live our life from that place of happiness.
While we may have different ideas on what makes us happy, there may be things we are doing, without realising it, that may be preventing us from experiencing greater levels of happiness.
Being happy is a choice. If we have habits that cultivate happiness, we’ll experience it more. On the other hand, if we have unhealthy or destructive habits, we’ll find it difficult to experience happiness on an ongoing basis.
Many years ago, I had a succesful corporate career, which allowed me to have all the material successes I wanted, however I never felt a sense of true happiness and fulfilment.
Interestingly, when I reflect back on the things I was doing during that period of my life, I had many unsupportive habits that were affecting my emotional state, which in turn, affected my level of happiness.