When we tolerate something in life, what we are really doing is putting up with something that is not ideal.
It means we are allowing things or actions to continue by settling for what we have landed on.
We all have different definitions of success. One definition is no better or more accurate than another. What’s more important is being clear on where we want to go in life, what we’d like to accomplish and the difference we’d like to make in the world.
We then need to assess where we currently are with respect to where we want to go. If we’re off track and not making much progress, chances are there are things within our internal and external world that must change.
No matter what kind of success we want, there are a number of things we should never tolerate because they will affect our confidence, commitment and our ability to get things done.
Personally, some of the things I have stopped tolerating include:
- Letting work take a higher priority than my health and well-being.
- Starting more than one new project at a time.
- Having a messy office.
We all have things that are not ideal and we may not realise we can actually address those things quite easily. Here are ten things we should stop tolerating if we want to go to another level of performance and achieve greater success.
- Not taking personal responsibility for your results. One of my favourite saying is, “Results never lie.” When things are not working out as hoped or planned, the person we need to speak to is always available for consultation — all we have to do is look in the mirror. Making up excuses for poor results or performance are examples of not taking responsibility.
- Letting fear stop you from making progress. Worry is often expressed as fear. It can be worry of losing something if we take an action, it can be worrying about the process of change itself, or it can be worrying about an outcome not being as good as we hope it will be. We can overcome worry or fear by replacing our negative associations with positive ones.
- Allowing yourself to get impatient. We must learn to develop patience while on the journey to success because some things may take longer than we anticipate. Impatience will lead to frustration which can result in wrong decisions being made, which can further delay what we’re trying to achieve.
- Having unsupportive or uninspiring environments around us. Our environments can either inspire us or they can demotivate us. Environments include our physical space such as our home or work area, our relationships, and the people we associate with. These all play a huge factor in thinking and behaviour, and if they’re not helping us get to where we want to go, that is something we must improve or change.
- Not looking after yourself physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. There are many aspects to ourselves and we must ensure all our needs are being met. If we’re unhealthy or not well in one area, it will have a major impact on all the other areas, which can hinder our progress toward success. As the saying goes, “Success starts on the inside.” What we have going on inside us is expressed externally through our results.
- Allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. At times, people will try to make us feel guilty in order to get us to do something that will benefit them. We must be aware when that’s happening and be strong enough to make decisions without any guilt or without being manipulated in any way. Being comfortable saying no is something we must develop if we want to be successful.
- Giving up too soon. Not forming the habit of being persistent is a major cause of failure. It is important we review our progress and make adjustments as we continue on our journey. If we don’t develop persistence, during times of struggle, it can be very tempting to give up or stop taking the actions necessary for success.
- Ignoring feedback that’s valuable. Whether we like it or not, we’re always receiving feedback. Our body will tell us something is not right through pain or discomfort, other people will let us know if we’re not doing what we’re supposed to, and our financial situation will tell us what our relationship with money is. It can be extremely painful to us and others if we ignore feedback on what’s not working and continue to do things as we please rather than being willing to change things.
- Not having role models or mentors to learn from. It is pretty arrogant to think we know it all or we can do everything ourselves. The truth is no matter what we’re trying to achieve, either someone has already done it or there are people who can support us in achieving it. Being willing to always be a learner or a student is a fundamental requirement of success.
- Lack of a plan for your life. If we don’t know where we are going, any road will get us there. Unless we have defined what success looks like for us, it will be extremely difficult to achieve success that is meaningful and fulfilling. Having a roadmap for our life is a fundamental requirement for sustained, long-term success.
We are what we tolerate. If we’re serious about living the life we want, we must stop tolerating things about ourselves and others. This doesn’t mean being judgemental toward others or making drastic changes right away. It means we must be willing to take the time and evaluate our behaviour and results, and change them if they’re not what we want.
Question: What is one thing you are going to stop tolerating starting from today?
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