If we learn how to use a positive no to communicate what’s important, it will make things easier for us.
Every day, we’re dealing with many demands on our attention, time, expertise or resources. Saying no can be uncomfortable and cause us to say yes when we don’t want to.
Saying no to many things or requests is mandatory if we want to say yes to the right things or requests.
This is where learning how to use a positive no is helpful to stay true to our priorities, without affecting our relationships.
What is a Positive No?
Harvard Professor William Ury, shared the concept of a positive no, in his book, The Power of a Positive No.
A positive no is a way to respond to a request that works for everyone, without affecting the relationship or our priorities.
Using a positive no makes it easier to decline a request made on us, while being respectful of the person making the request.
The Costs of Not Knowing How to Use a Positive No
If we don’t use the concept of a positive no, and agree to something when we don’t want to, it can:
- Lead to emotions of resentment, frustration or anger.
- Take our focus away from what’s important.
- Delay what we want to get done.
- Cause us to waste time doing something that’s not beneficial.
- Reduce our confidence and level of self-trust.
Something as simple as saying no the right way can affect us and those we interact with.
There are things to avoid saying when experiencing a difficult time, if we want to deal with our situation better.
Whenever we experience a difficult time, if we’re not mindful of the language we use, we will generate unhealthy emotions.
Reasons to Pay More Attention to Your Words During a Difficult Time
The words we use, communicate what we’re thinking and feeling. We should pay more attention to our words during difficult times because they will:
- Affect our attitude.
- Determine the actions we take.
- Impact how we communicate with others.
- Affect our productivity levels.
- Influence how we deal with our problems.
If we use empowering words, we’re more likely to handle our challenges with the right attitude. Changing the words we use during a difficult time can change how we view our experiences.
Learning how to deal with bad experiences can help us move on, without hanging onto any pain that was caused.
Throughout our lives, we’ll have experiences we deem either good or bad. Even though we don’t want to have bad experiences, we cannot avoid them.
What we consider a bad experience depends on our conditioning and mental strength. Something we may think is a bad experience may not be a big deal to someone else.
Having the ability to deal with bad experiences is extremely valuable if we want to have good mental health.
The Dangers of Not Dealing With Bad Experiences
The real challenge of having a bad experience isn’t the experience itself, but the meaning we give them. If we’re not careful or handle those experiences well, they can cause us to form limiting beliefs.
Beliefs we could form include:
- Things never work out for me.
- I’ll never be successful.
- I’m not good enough to get what I want.
- I’m not going to take risks again.
- This is as good as things will get.
- I don’t know if I can ever be happy.
Other dangers of not dealing with bad experiences include:
- Feeling unhappy or depressed.
- Low levels of confidence or motivation.
- Additional stress on relationships.
- Poor attitude and performance.
- Resistance to take new actions.
Since bad experiences are a part of life, how we respond will determine how we deal with them.
Reaching higher levels of success often comes down to having ways to overcome self-doubt and continually taking new actions.
Those who can deal with their self-doubt usually achieve things they haven’t previously, while gaining more confidence.
What is Self-Doubt?
Self-doubt is an internal struggle. It prevents us from pursuing something we want or taking an action to achieve a different result.
It’s our internal voice that tells us:
- To be practical or realistic.
- Now is not the right time to make a change.
- We could fail.
- We don’t know how to do something.
- We are not good enough to achieve the thing we want.
The Costs of Not Having Ways to Overcome Self-Doubt
If we succumb to our self-doubt, we won’t pursue or experience the things that matters most to us. The costs of not overcoming it can include:
- Not following our dreams.
- Lower self-confidence and self-esteem.
- Feeling unhappy.
- Being very self-critical.
- Not believing in possibilities or dreaming big dreams.
As we recognise and deal with self-doubt, it will help us do what we should, to get what we want.
When you can be more mindful of the language you use, you will improve the way you communicate with others.
Communication with others involves using words, writings and gestures. The language you use plays an important part in how effective you are with your communication.
Why You Should Be More Mindful of the Language You Use
Paying more attention to the language you use is important because:
- It will impact the interaction you’ll have with someone.
- It will affect the quality of your relationships.
- It will affect your self-confidence.
- It will influence people’s perception, which can affect your reputation.
- It will determine whether you achieve your outcomes or not.
When you learn to be more mindful of the language you use, communicating with others will become easier.
Our willingness to practice appreciation consistently reveals our attitude and outlook on life.
If we practice appreciation, it means we’re being intentional about giving attention to the positive things in our lives.
It’s easy to give attention to what’s not going well or things we don’t like. This is because our environments can cause us to focus more on what’s not right rather than what’s right.
Practicing appreciation doesn’t require a lot of time and it can be done at any time. It comes down to our mindset and consciously focusing on positive things rather than negative things.
Examples of what we can appreciate every day includes:
- Waking up and having another day to make a difference.
- Having food to eat and clothes to wear daily.
- Having a home to sleep in.
- Opportunities to follow our dreams and achieve goals.
- The ability to serve others and use our knowledge, skills and abilities.
- Being able to create things in the world.
- Having use of things that makes our lives easier or better.
We often take things for granted because they’ve always been in our lives. We can enhance our experience of life if we make appreciation an everyday practice.
Knowing how to leverage your network can make a huge difference as you aspire to achieve new results.
It has often been said, “Your net worth is determined by your network.”
Why Should You Learn How to Leverage Your Network?
If you know how to leverage your network, the benefits include:
- Opportunities for new partnerships and collaborations.
- Generating new ideas which can lead to new innovations.
- Faster progress towards what you want.
- Ability to make a bigger impact or difference in your community.
- Confidence to aim for bigger goals.
To leverage your network correctly, there are things to know that will help create beneficial outcomes for everyone involved.
If you are a video maker, using this video editor can make you a better video creator.
Creating videos is essential if you want to reach more people and leverage the various social platforms.
The number of businesses and influencers using videos to expand their reach is continuing to increase.
Video content is necessary if you’re a video a creator according to Wyzowl video marketing statistics for 2019.
It states that up to 87% of businesses in 2019 are using videos as a marketing tool. You cannot ignore the video trends and statistics if you want to make a bigger impact and have more influence.
Common Problems Video Creators Face
If you don’t have the confidence or the skills, creating videos can be daunting.
Common problems those who aren’t competent video makers face include:
- Deciding which video program or app to use because there are many options to choose from.
- High one-off cost or monthly fees to use a video editor.
- Having to invest a lot of time to learn how to use the program chosen.
- Not getting enough support to develop competence especially when starting out.
- Producing videos that do not grab attention or aren’t appealing.
These can lead to frustration, which can result in not creating the quantity or quality of videos you want.
There is a simple solution to these problems.
When we understand why consistency is an important habit to have, we can use it to our advantage.
It’s highly unlikely we’ll achieve great things if we’re not consistently making smart decisions and taking the right actions.
What Does it Mean to Be Consistent?
When we’re consistent, it means we’re dedicated to carrying an activity or completing a task. It means we’re clear on what we want to accomplish and are taking the necessary steps to reach it.
To be consistent is a commitment we make to ourselves and others. It’s about keeping our word to carry out what we’ve agreed to do. Our level of consistency reflects our values and standards.
When we’re consistent, it means we’re doing what’s required now to achieve a better outcome in the future. Therefore, consistency is about repetition. It’s about doing the same things repeatedly over time to reach a desired outcome.
Why Do We Struggle With Consistency?
There are several things that can cause us to struggle with consistency. These can include:
- Lack of patience.
- Desire for instant gratification.
- Lack of clarity and focus.
- Not having supporting habits or triggers.
- Having a “all or nothing” mindset.
Leadership expert John Maxwell says, “Small disciplines repeated with consistency every day lead to great achievements gained slowly over time.”
When we know the reasons why consistency is an important habit to have, we can take steps to develop it.
You may have heard or been told you should stop comparing yourself to others, but that can be difficult.
What others do, often becomes a filter through which we see ourselves, which then can affect our actions. A part of our upbringing is influenced by what other people do.
For example, we may have been told, “This is what so and so did (or achieved).” Or “Why can’t you be more like so and so?”
That becomes a part of our programming. As a result, we have a habit of looking at what others are doing or not doing.
The Consequences of Comparing Yourself to Others
The danger of comparing yourself to others can include:
- It will lead to poor self-esteem.
- It will cause you to waste time and energy on what you cannot change or control.
- It will affect your mental and emotional states.
- It will deprive you of joy.
- It will cause you to believe you’re worse off or better than someone else.
- It can cause you to compensate by seeking approval and validation in unhealthy ways.
- It can make you believe you are not enough the way you are.
- It can cause uncharacteristic behaviours towards others.
When we compare ourselves to others, we’ll rarely conclude we’re exactly the same as them. If we conclude we’re better or worse than someone, we’ve created a distance or separation from them.
The interesting thing is we often only see the results of what someone achieved. We don’t see the struggles, sacrifices or challenges they had to overcome to produce those results.
Therefore, we have to learn to stop comparing ourselves to others.