How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

5 Things You Can Do to Stay Focused on What Matters to You

You may have heard or been told you should stop comparing yourself to others, but that can be difficult.

What others do, often becomes a filter through which we see ourselves, which then can affect our actions. A part of our upbringing is influenced by what other people do.

For example, we may have been told, “This is what so and so did (or achieved).” Or “Why can’t you be more like so and so?”

That becomes a part of our programming. As a result, we have a habit of looking at what others are doing or not doing.

The Consequences of Comparing Yourself to Others

The danger of comparing yourself to others can include:

  • It will lead to poor self-esteem.
  • It will cause you to waste time and energy on what you cannot change or control.
  • It will affect your mental and emotional states.
  • It will deprive you of joy.
  • It will cause you to believe you’re worse off or better than someone else.
  • It can cause you to compensate by seeking approval and validation in unhealthy ways.
  • It can make you believe you are not enough the way you are.
  • It can cause uncharacteristic behaviours towards others.

When we compare ourselves to others, we’ll rarely conclude we’re exactly the same as them. If we conclude we’re better or worse than someone, we’ve created a distance or separation from them.

The interesting thing is we often only see the results of what someone achieved. We don’t see the struggles, sacrifices or challenges they had to overcome to produce those results.

Therefore, we have to learn to stop comparing ourselves to others.

stop comparing yourself to others